I sit here, writing, while Pink is blasting on my daughter’s playlist. My oldest daughter has ice on her broken leg and is working on her homework for anatomy. Her surgery is tomorrow. My youngest is across the room at his Lego desk inventing new worlds. I’m sure he’s planning his next stop action movie. My oldest son is on video games in the next room; shooting zombies and rooting his little sister on in the game. My youngest daughter is pretending to enjoy the video game while snuggling with her new kitten and singing along to the music.
This is our Sunday. This is how our house operates now.
It’s amazing to think how much life has changed in the last 6 months.
We’ve gone from a house divided, a house of secrecy, a house abused, to a house in unique unity and balance. We’ve replaced anxiety and abuse with genuine peacefulness and functionality. We’ve replaced secrecy with an open floor for discussions. We’re working to replace anger with clarity. Anger seems to be the hardest thing to replace. We will get there though.
I know that when you’re in the thick of it… when the walls seem to be suffocating you, there doesn’t seem to be any hope. When you’re spending your time trying to figure out what the root issues are, but you’re enduring lies and deception instead…. you suffer. That suffering gives strength to the abuser. Until you snap, taking back the power, you just don’t know how much power you’ve been feeding the problem.
I also know that when a heart, that is not yours, is lost to evil- there is nothing you can do. You didn’t give that heart to evil. You didn’t invite it in. It’s a painful acknowledgement, but you need to know it isn’t your fault. It isn’t your circus, and it’s not your monkeys keeping you down.
You deserve to heal. You deserve to change the atmosphere in your home. Make the changes needed for your family. You deserve to thrive. Live your best new life.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a daughter wanting to learn the Charleston. She’s had enough games. I’m going to go make a fool out of myself. I’ll enjoy every second of being a dancing fool.
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