No Dice

I had a man, dressed in hunting gear and smelling horrible, walk up to me in a gas station and plainly state:

You and me, we’re going out on the town for a date tonight!

Does that line usually work?  I’m blown away at the audacity of this grimy, only mildly attractive, poorly mannered man.  This lead to the following conversation:

Dandy:  No we aren’t.  Who do you think you are?

Man:  You can get to know me.  I don’t see a ring on you.  (smirking at me)

I look at his hand and pure rage flows through me. 

I can see where his wedding ring should be…. where it was until recently.  I can see the tan line, the one that is accentuated by the dirt and grime of hunting.  He has recently removed his ring.  Was it for his hunt…. or for hunting a future victim?  I don’t care:

Dandy:  I can see where your ring should be. Go sweet talk your wife you aren’t faithful to.

Man:  You’re crazy.  (walks off in a storm of disappointment)

Dandy:  You are a coward in men’s clothing!  (as he’s rushing out the door)

I’m left standing in front of a shocked gas station attendant.  Is she shocked at me or at him?  I can’t tell.  She rings up my gum and juice, and silently watches me as I leave.  I still cant tell if shes impressed or mortified at the exchange.

I got in my car and sat there until this man and his hunting buddies left.  Peeling out of the drive.  He’s in a hurry now.  Luckily they went in an opposite direction of where I needed to go.  I sat there absolutely offended.  Who did he think he was?  Why the hell would he even think I’d go out with him?  That approach can’t possibly work on women.  Can it?

Then I thought of something…. Just like we have versions of our self, we have energies around us.  What happens when we are dealing with trauma, and our energy changes?  The vibe we carry must change also right?  If that is the case, although I’m doing so much better than I have in the past 7 months, I’m not myself yet.  Does that mean the vibe I’m giving off is suddenly attracting more narcissistic jackasses?  Can they sense I’m in survival mode, and they think my guard is down?  That I’d be an easy supply? 

The more I sit there in a daze thinking about these questions the more a few recent exchanges start to make sense.  I sit there, completely disgusted by what my energy is attracting.  I don’t want that kind of life ever again.  I know I am stronger than this; I deserve more than what is presenting its self to me right now.  So I resolve to return to my true self, sooner than later.

Here’s the thing that men need to understand.  Ring or no ring, women don’t owe you a date.  Women don’t owe you an answer.  Women are not put on this earth to serve your every whim.  You want to get lucky…. GO SWEET TALK YOUR WIFE!  Taking off your wedding ring to go hunting is one thing.  Hunting for an affair is entirely another thing.  It’s just plain stupid.