I have a love hate relationship with winter.
I love to watch the snow flutter down; swirling in the breeze. Watching how it piles up around the trees and shrubs. I love watching the dogs chase snowflakes, or the snow rooster tail off them as they run to fetch snowballs. I love how much the kids look forward to sledding, snow angles, and snowball wars. Snow scenes are some of my favorite scenes to photograph, despite that being a challenge for me.
I can’t express enough how much I hate shoes and socks. Unlike the years of my youth my feet feel the cold now; running around barefoot is a terrible idea in the snow now. To that point, my arthritis makes it impossible to run anywhere in the cold snow. That is, it would make it impossible, if my fibromyalgia would allow me to get out of bed to do anything other than waddle to the couch or my chair. You see, while I’m loving the scene outside my window, my body rebels against me despite being wrapped up in a nice warm heated blanket.
Much to some people’s beliefs on fibromyalgia and arthritis, it isn’t always enough to just “dress for the weather”. Sometimes, especially extended stormy periods or the first real snow of the year, it doesn’t matter what precautions I take or don’t take…. I feel the effects no matter what. If I wear too many layers the weight of the clothing irritates the burning skin sensation, if I wear too few layers I can’t regulate body temperature on my own. Sometimes the barometric pressure changes leave me lightheaded and dizzy. Sometimes it just feels like I haven’t slept in weeks. Sometimes the glare from the snow will induce migraines.
Other times still, I am able to function almost like a real human being. Sometimes I am stiff in the morning, loosen up during the day, and can muster the energy to go out in the snow to expand my winter portfolio. Sometimes I can nearly forget that my body hates me.
Today is our first big snow of the year. As such, I’m indoors today. Not brave enough to even venture one step past the threshold. Barely mobile.
The kids, excited as always, ventured out into the snow for a few hours. Even Broken Girl managed to bundle up and head onto the back porch to sit in the crisp cool air for a bit. I managed to bring my favorite wing backed chair into the kitchen to watch them for a while.
The boys, for the first time, built an igloo. Being the creative types that they are they used a bucket to fashion the bricks of the structure. They stacked several layers, covered the outside nooks and crannies with handfuls of loose snow. Wood rafters were inserted across the tops of the walls, covered by a tarp, and weighted down with, you guessed it, more snow. Their masterpiece was quite literally the only thing that could have drug me out from under my heated blankets today.
I can’t adequately explain the change in energy in our home. The peace that we have. We are not edgy with each other. The kids aren’t continually fighting with each other every minute of every day. The kids don’t feel like they have to compete for attention any more. Each of us knows we are safe to be us. Regardless of limitations.
I’m grateful my children understand that days like today exist for me. I’m grateful they include me as much as they can. Even if it is through a sliding glass door.
They really are pretty cool kids.
0 Comments