Goodbye 2018!
I have never been more ready for a year to end. Never will I miss being abused. Never will I mourn the loss of an abuser again. Never will I endure this Shattering again. Never will my children be unsafe in my home. Never will I allow myself to be unsafe or unappreciated in my own home; victimized.
Hello 2019!
With the ringing in of the new year, and reflection on the last year, one thing is certain. I’m headed in the right direction.
I’m finding my confidence again.
I’ve found my laugh. Regularly laughing until crying with the kids.
I’ve managed to smile more and more in the last few months. Genuinely smile. Nothing fake hiding behind it.
The kids are open and honest with me. Even when I almost wish they weren’t quite SO honest with me.
I’ve made amazing friends.
I’ve accepted that what he did to us was all his fault. I didn’t make any of those choices.
I’ve accepted that I’ll be a single mom, doing the best I can by my kids. Nobody external gets an opinion on that.
I’ve accepted we will thrive again very soon.
As silly as it may seem, I’m at peace with where I am right now. I’m at peace with the people in my life. I’m at peace with having to release some people from our lives. Eventually, maybe, we will find our lost friends again. If not it’s ok. I understand.
Although I’m grateful for The Shattering, finding my roots once again, strength I didn’t know I had, and my kids perseverance- I’m ready for 2018 to end. I’m ready for bigger and better adventures, smiles, happy tears, and fun in 2019.
Here is my challenge to us all in 2019:
Be there for a friend in need.
Bring some positive energy to one person every day.
Find the smallest signs of life that remind you that you’re alive.
Be a pillar of hope for anybody struggling to find the light. Sometimes you don’t know how dark your friend’s lives may be. Don’t be afraid to help them, especially if they aren’t good at asking for help.
Remember to smile; often.
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