Old Notions Be Damned. Live Life.

Late into 2019, after an extremely candid conversation with Flamingo Girl’s doctor about her migraines, we began considering alternative control efforts.  You see her migraines have developed, over the last few years, to be nightmares.  There is nothing like watching your daughter writhe in pain, crying that her head wants to explode.  Sometimes for hours, sometimes for days.  You give her medicine only to have it not work.  You try to hydrate her in an effort to combat the pain, only to have her vomit up everything you try.

You end up feeling so helpless.

Flamingo Girl’s cousin used to suffer like this also.  However, lately, it seemed she had her migraines under control.  Or I was out of the loop.  Either way, I reached out to her to see what had helped.  To my surprise her advise was simple…. a daith piercing had ended her struggles.

A secondary conversation with the doctor reviled that a piercing was not outside the realm of possibility for positive results.  He stated that there is evidence to suggest the daith piercing has helped several long time migraine sufferers, but cautioned that it has not helped others.  He did, however, advise that it may be worth a try since medicine and diet restrictions were not helping on their own.  After all, a piercing will close up if you find it didn’t work.  No harm done if she hated it.

I’ve always been told, and conditioned to believe, that piercings were stupid.  They were dirty.  They were ugly.  They were for slutty girls or weirdo misfits.  If I mentioned wanting anything other than the holes I already had in my ears I was crucified for that thought.  I would shove the thought, the curiosity, to the back of my mind and forget about it.  I started to think about that pattern.  About if that was really something I wanted to support or not.  To my surprise, I discovered I didn’t actually have any issues at all with piercings.  Not on a deeply personal level anyway.  I actually found that I had more curiosity about their allure.

Flamingo Girl and I spoke about the option of having the piercing done.  She took several weeks to think it over.  I wanted her treatment to be something she knew she was in control of.  She isn’t too far away from being deemed an adult, I figured this would be a good way to instill that she needs to start making her own decisions about her care.  She did some research of her own.  Fairly extensive research actually.  I was impressed how seriously she took this.  We openly discussed the pros and cons of this option.

Toward the end of the consideration phase she extended an invitation that it would be really cool if we both did the piercing.  After all, I also suffer from migraines…. although not as often as she does.  It would be a small mother daughter bonding experience.  I was flattered, and agreed to it without hesitation.  I mean this was cool!  How often do teenage daughters actually want to do something awesome with their moms?  I told her whenever she was ready I would be ready too.  Then I didn’t hear much about it for  a while.

When she grew tired of migraines twice a week, every week, she decided it was time.  I researched several piercing studios/tattoo parlors for our trip.  I’m kind of obsessive when it comes to these places.  I wanted to make certain we would be dealing with absolute professionals.  I finally found a reputable place, and a piercer I liked… 2 hours away, in the city.  This would be an adventure!

Broken girl was staying with friends for the weekend.  Welder Boy was home visiting for the weekend.  He and Movie Boy had a boys night, while Flamingo Girl and I went off to the city.

Flamingo Girl and I walked through the tattoo shop and instantly I knew we made the right choice.  The work on display was amazing.  The artists knew what they were doing.  The waiting area had people sitting on oversized couches socializing, and teeming with excitement for their new art.  We entered the piercing studio to find cases of quality jewelry on display, the waiting area full of people trying to decide what they wanted.  The atmosphere was so fun and light.  The staff were super friendly.  The entire establishment was so clean.  We knew this trip would be worth it.

I started looking around while we were waiting.  I had always thought about getting a belly button piercing.  I’ve always thought they were cute with bikinis, although inconvenient with all other areas of life.  I’d been shot down at any mention of that in my past life.

Right there, at the counter, I turned to Flamingo Girl and said, “I’m going to do something mildly irresponsible.”

Flamingo Girl giggled and said, “Go for it mom.  You don’t do that often enough.”

My fate was sealed.  I was getting multiple piercings.

Flamingo Girl got her ear pierced first.  My nerves were on fire watching how it was done.  She took it like a champ…. only letting a single tear slide from one eye.  Then it was my turn.  I had my daith piercing done first.  There was an audible crunch as the cartilage was broke apart by the piercing tool.  Then pressure as the jewelry was placed.  A burning sensation followed that.  I couldn’t focus on that though…. I found myself saying to the piercer, through the pain, “time for my belly button.”  He smiled, and got a new kit ready.

Here was my mildly irresponsible moment.  The first I’d had in a REALLY long time.  All I could think about was how this small step was helping me realize I own my life.  Nobody else does.  I’ll do what I want, when I want, how I want… don’t like it?  Go away.  Nobody’s opinion matters but my own.

I laid back on the table.  There was a pinch, a push, and an OUCH.  That one hurt more than the cartilage in my ear!  I don’t know why that caught me off guard.  For some strange reason I thought it wasn’t going to hurt much, if at all.  There is video to prove my only reaction was to say, “Hey, that one hurt more than the other one!”

Our piercer laughed as we thanked him, and promised to return should we decide we wanted any other work in the future.  We left the shop, for the two hour drive home; reveling in the glorious pain of knowing we did what we wanted to do.  Best of all we did it together.  Never mind I couldn’t button my jeans to drive home, or that our ears were burning.  We were happy with our choices.

Fast forward about 7 weeks now.  Flamingo Girl has only had 2 migraines.  Instead of the roughly 10-14 she would have had before.  I haven’t had any.  Our piercings are nearly completely healed.  We just ordered some new jewelry, excited to be able to change them out soon.  Absolutely NO regrets.

Here’s to having the courage to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, and being open to new possibilities.  No matter who’s watching, and no matter what they think.  Opinions don’t matter, judgement doesn’t matter; the only thing that does matter is you and your experiences.

2020 is a great year to figure out how to live.  To truly LIVE.  So far I think I’m off to a good start.