Months after The Shattering I didn’t comprehend that I was an actual abuse victim. My therapist would say, “Do you understand that is abusive behavior/abuse?”. I’d nod my head side to side. I wouldn’t, or maybe couldn’t, accept that I’d been abused. Especially by somebody that had convinced me so Read more…
In the beginning of The Shattering, when I needed honest answers, I asked my husband WHY he betrayed everything good in this world. His answer was an even bigger disappointment than he was to me…. I thought I was in control. I had control of everything. For people like him, Read more…
For years I tolerated psychological warfare and narcissistic abuse in hopes that if I just worked hard enough I could turn my husband’s anger at me around. If I could just be patient enough he would see I was trying so hard to support him. For years I was told: Read more…
In the weeks following utter betrayal I did what every discarded, blindsided, soon to be ex-wife does. I thought I wasn’t enough for him: I wasn’t sexy enough, I wasn’t thin enough, I wasn’t organized enough, I wasn’t fashionable enough, I wasn’t quiet enough, I didn’t buy into conventional beauty Read more…
What I’m coming to realize is that with every phase of life, or with every reaction to life, you experience a whole new set of “firsts”. Sometimes the way we react to those new firsts are surprising. In the weeks following my discovery of life not being what I thought Read more…
While down on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors this morning, I was caught off guard by huge alligator tears rolling uncontrollably down my face; splatting on my hands and fresh floor. These tears were like a waterfall cascading off a cliff. Anybody that knows me well may assume Read more…
The boys, a friend of Welding Boy, and I enjoyed an adventure to the Wizarding Festival in Scottsville today. It’s an adorable little town. Straight out of 1700 something. It appears not much has changed in the last couple centuries there. There is a feeling that you are almost experiencing Read more…
My situation, as it unfolds in front of me, has lead me to draw strength from the strong women whom helped raise me. What would they say to me if they were still here? What lessons of my youth may apply? What have I forgotten, or filed away and haven’t Read more…