Be Wonder Woman

There are things in my life I’m sorry for.  I should have played with baby tigers when I had the chance.  I should have communicated more with my grandmother prior to her death.  I’m sorry I lost some of my light.  I should have set stronger boundaries in my marriage.  I should have left my husband years prior to The Shattering.  I shouldn’t have given him so many opportunities to become the man I thought he could be.

Then there are things I’m not sorry for.  I’m not sorry that I’m me.  Pain in the ass and all.  I’m not sorry for being independent.  I’m not sorry for being stubborn.  I’m not sorry for being an advocate.  I’m not sorry for holding people accountable.  I’m not sorry that people don’t like me.  I’m not sorry how I reacted to The Shattering.  I will never be sorry for these things.

At first I blamed myself for the kid’s suffering.  I blamed myself that they didn’t think I was a safe option for them.  I blamed myself for HIM being able to twist their minds up, for his ability to control them with fear tactics.  I blamed myself for not seeing things happening.  I blamed myself for not leaving the first time he put hands on me in front of the children…. then on the other hand I knew that when I fought back in front of them; when he stopped because of my fight, it should have helped them see I wasn’t as weak as they thought.  I’d hoped they could find strength in me for that.

Then, as most things do on this adventure, things snapped into place.  Almost audibly.

SNAP

Suddenly I could clearly see the things that I was and was not sorry for.  I could see where information pertinent to mine and the kids situations had been so hidden, so manipulated, that even the keenest mind wouldn’t have been able to see it as red flags.  I started to understand that all the damages inflicted had been done slowly.  Calculated.  Every move, no matter how trivial, was done with purpose.  With intention toward an end goal.  His end goal; his satisfaction.  However in real time, with real life all around us, there was NO WAY I could have prevented even a fraction of the build up let alone The Shattering.

I could see, crystal clear, that the second I knew I made changes.  I could see that the second the kids needed me, trusted me, needed saving, I had the strength to reverse the spin of their worlds.  To be exactly what they needed.

I became Wonder Woman.

You see Wonder Woman is not just a made up character for comic stores, little girls, and nerds.  It’s a thought process.  It’s putting an end to unfair, unhealthy, or abusive situations.  It’s not taking any crap.  It’s an intense toughness laced with love, caring, and tender mercies for those who deserve them.  It is putting your kids, everybody’s safety, boundaries, and priorities first.  It’s doing the right thing at what ever expense is necessary.

Wonder Woman is an attitude.

What I’ve come to realize is that the Wonder Woman quality resides in all women that are forced to do hard things; women who refuse to back down.  Women who insist on thriving.  She surfaces to let us know we will survive.  She lends us strength, hope, and fighting spirit.  She presents another side to us that we either never knew we had, or that we had forgotten about.  She shows us we are capable of accomplishing anything the universe throws at us; more even.

Now I see Wonder Woman in the eyes of several of my friends.  I see her presence in the amazing teachers and support staff that are working hard for the future.  I see her in all the single moms I find whom are doing amazing things.  These single moms are raising well adjusted, highly functional future adults, setting a strong example for them to follow.  That makes them Wonder Woman.

Here are my challenges to you all:

Walk through your life as you normally would.  Look at those you cross paths with through a new lens.

Now watch for signs of your friends being Wonder Woman.  Congratulate them for doing hard things.  No matter how trivial, or small you may think they are.

Pay special attention to what you are sorry for, what you are not sorry for.  Are you happy with those lists?

Congratulate yourself for doing hard things.  Embrace your inner Wonder Woman.

Advocate for yourself, your friends, and those who have no way to advocate for themselves.

Lastly, find an excuse to issue tender mercies to those who need them.  Find a friends struggling and take them cookies.  Find a child who needs a good role model and help them- with any way you can.  Give a random stranger a compliment you wouldn’t usually think to give.  Deliver a tiny slice of happiness wherever you go.